no i am not where i belong.

coming "home" from a trip sucks when the place you're coming back to doesn't feel anything like home.

i miss this:

the first step is admitting you have a problem

it is no secret that i love cookies. but this shit is getting out of control. i eat multiple cookies on a daily basis. i will not be more specific than that because frankly, it's embarrassing. i can hardly enjoy them anymore, it's gotten to be more of a feeding(literally) the addiction kind of thing. i need help, i need to get back to a place where eating a cookie brings me to a blissful state of contentment unattainable by nearly anything else. can you help me?

untainted tunes

there's something about knowing about a band before everyone else does. not in an entitled way but in the sense that the music from this band you're hearing hasn't been heard by a lot of other people and it makes it that much more new and special and different and exciting and yours. you don't have a preconceived notion about the band based on who their fan base is and what other people's opinions of them are. you haven't been tainted by countless music videos and interviews. you don't even know what this band looks like, you just know they sound fuckin' rad.

the band is a new find, a treasure discovered in whatever way, and you totally dig their sound. based on nothing other than the music. and isn't that what its all about?

what bothers me is people who were at one time fans of a formerly more obscure band who become jaded and condescending towards them once they (the band) become well known/popular/mainstream. suddenly they're "selling out" because they're successful. i've never bought that. but then again, i'm a coldplay fan, so what do i know.

this reminds me of conan o'brien's message to his fans on his last ever episode of the tonight show:

“All I ask of you is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

blog, pourquoi?

perhaps it's the narcissist in me that wants to create a blog. in fact i'm almost sure of it. to think that anyone out there really wants to know my thoughts and feelings on the things i plan on delving into would be foolish of me. so this is mostly for me. but not entirely, because if it were purely for me, i'd be writing in a journal now wouldn't i. oh well, it's my blog and i can do what i want. you're not the boss of me!